I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it glows. i had to have it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
