I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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