you mean i was at the winter classic?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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