There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Randomize
