I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
