I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
