girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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