i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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