So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
