I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
