I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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