yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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