in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There r osticjed everywhere
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
