Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize