and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
