I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
