I just cut my nipple shaving
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
