feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize