ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
