She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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