is wine microwaveable?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize