Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
