i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
