I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Holy shit dude........stairs
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