Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I cannot find my penis.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
