Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
