oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
