Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize