I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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