my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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