I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize