watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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