I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
