fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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