Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
