y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
