I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
