So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
