You just made me feel so damn special
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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