Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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