If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
