At least make sure they are 18
Why
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
