drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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