I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
