1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
