Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
