shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
