dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
