I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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