she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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