I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
