when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
