You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
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