I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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