i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Boobs are out for the taking
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize