So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I will be naked everywhere
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need a beard to bite.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
