no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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