he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
