Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
