you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
