So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
