Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
