Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
