Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
