I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
