If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
