I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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