Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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