rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
